


Monopoly, again?

by Ididloveyou_once



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alfred Pennyworth is So Done, Batfamily (DCU), Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, But Played For Comedic Effect, Dick: Everyone hates me, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Half-Serious Threats of Murder, Humor, Jason Enables Her, Jason: Says the other rich boy, Monopoly (Board Game), Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love, Stephanie Cheats, Tim: No rich boy you can’t manage your finances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29947848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ididloveyou_once/pseuds/Ididloveyou_once
Summary: ‘Jason-’ Stephanie started sweetly.‘Here we go,’ Tim grumbled under his breath and Stephanie shot him a glare.‘-I will give you two hundred dollars for that railroad station.’Or: The family plays Monopoly and it goes exactly how you’d expect (Monopoly is played, won and thrown at someone’s face).
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Comments: 14
Kudos: 191





	Monopoly, again?

‘Jason-’ Stephanie started sweetly.

‘Here we go,’ Tim grumbled under his breath and Stephanie shot him a glare. 

‘-I will give you two hundred dollars for that railroad station.’

Lightning cracked and rain beat down heavily against the Manor windows. The storm that stretched across Gotham City had made it impossible to drive and any hope of leaving the Manor had been dashed by Alfred’s firm refusal. No one dared argue with him - the erratic power shortages had kept Bruce at Enterprises much later than usual and it was impossible to know when he was going to return - leaving the butler well and truly in charge. 

Still, when Steph suggested Monopoly, Alfred almost wished he’d let them take their chances.

Jason leaned back on his elbows and raised an eyebrow, 

‘What good will that do for me? That’s what I paid for it.’

‘Fine,’ Stephanie conceded, ‘three hundred dollars.’

To his credit, Jason seemed to consider it and Dick huffed impatiently. 

‘This might be the most boring game I’ve ever played.’

‘Just because you’re losing,’ Stephanie snapped.

Dick pouted, ‘because you all _hate_ me.’

Cass rolled her eyes and Tim groaned. 

‘Dick, you’re losing because you can’t manage your finances not because we hate you.’

‘Why are you losing then?’ Dick shot back.

‘Because-’

‘Because he’s spent half the game in jail,’ Jason snorted. 

Tim’s face flushed red but he snapped his mouth shut. 

‘Look, Steph, three hundred just isn’t good enough,’ Jason waved his wad of cash, ‘I don’t need the money.’

‘Fine. _Fine_ ,’ Steph’s voice was tinged with desperation, ‘I will give you three hundred dollars and- and half of my share of Alfred’s chocolate chip cookies.’

Jason’s eyes widened and there was a collective groan from everyone in the room. 

‘I was not made aware that we could exchange empirical favours for Monopoly properties,’ Damian divulged.

‘You can’t,’ Tim snapped, ‘Steph’s cheating.’

‘Okay. _Okay_ ,’ Steph surrendered, ‘Jason, I will give you three hundred dollars and if two extra cookies happen to end up on your plate-’ she shrugged innocently. 

‘What about three?’

‘Deal!’ Steph snatched the card from Jason’s hand and shot Tim a smug grin. He just clenched his jaw. 

‘I would like to negotiate,’ Damian declared, clearly inspired by Brown’s tactics for getting ahead. 

‘No more negotiating,’ Tim hissed and Dick fixed him a look before sighing.

‘On your next turn, Dami.’

Tim clenched his fists but didn’t say anything. Instead, he just rolled the dice. 

‘Jail,’ Cass murmured before he could even move his piece. 

‘What? No. It’s only one double, you have to get three to end up in jail,’ he responded, exasperated. 

‘Yes,’ she nodded and gestured to the board, ‘you rolled twelve.’

Tim’s eyes widened in horror as he counted twelve squares and-

‘Go to jail,’ Jason laughed. Cass smirked. 

Tim clenched his fist as he deposited his thimble in the orange box and glared at the ‘go to jail’ square angrily. 

‘Cass, your turn.’

Cass took the dice and caught Jason’s eye, a question in her expression. Jason tilted his head in surprise and then, slowly, his lips stretched into a wide grin. He handed over his pink property wordlessly and Cass finished her turn in silence.

A moment passed and Dick narrowed his eyes, ‘Did that make anyone else nervous?’ 

There was a chorus of agreement and Tim gripped his cards so tightly that they dented.

‘Whatever deal you just made was definitely against the rules and probably the law,’ he muttered under his breath.

‘Grayson,’ Damian began his turn, ‘I would like both of your blue properties.’

‘But I don’t have anything else, Dami,’ Dick whined in protest. 

‘You have made it abundantly clear that you no longer wish to participate. I am giving you the opportunity to withdraw.’

‘You want me to trade you my properties… in return for you _letting_ me lose?’

‘No, Grayson,’ Damian scowled, indignant, ‘If you give me your properties I will allow you-’ he paused as if to prepare himself, ‘a single embrace, to use at your discretion.’ 

Dick’s eyes widened and there was a loud groan of protest.

‘Dick, no-’

‘Deal!’ Dick cheered and launched himself across the board to tackle him into a tight hug. 

‘You left the time unspecified, Dami,’ Dick teased, ‘I can hold you for as long as I choose.’

Damian tutted but gathered up his new properties and finished his turn with a flushed but satisfied expression on his face.

‘Steph-’

‘No, Jason-’ Tim interrupted, his voice strained, ‘I know what you’re going to ask for and you’re not having it.’

‘Well, it’s a good thing I’m not asking you then. Steph-’

‘Steph, if you give him that card he’ll have _another_ Monopoly and-’

Stephanie held up her hand to silence Tim and gestured for Jason to continue. 

‘If you give me your light blue,’ he smirked smugly at Tim’s frustrated grumble, ‘I’ll help you with your English homework for a week.’

Steph tilted her head in contemplation, ‘what if you _do_ my English homework for a week?’

‘Steph, they’re gonna know the difference if you go from writing shit to getting A’s in-’ her eyes narrowed and Jason’s blood turned cold- 

‘no- wait, I didn’t mean it-’ he stammered, ‘I- fine- I’ll do your English homework for a week if you give me your light blue.’

Steph hesitated and Tim turned so red he looked like he might explode. 

‘No,’ he yelled, ‘don’t give it to him.’

Steph bit her lip in consideration.

‘Steph, if you give him that card I’ll - I’ll,’ he stammered, his eyebrows pinched together in annoyance, ‘I’ll tell everyone at school about the time you wet yourself on the ghost train at the fair.’

Cass snickered and there was a surprised gasp.

‘How old were you?’ Dick asked, his voice muffled by Damian’s shoulder.

‘I was a child-’

‘She was fifteen,’ Tim corrected and someone guffawed, ‘and I’ll make sure everyone at school knows it if you give Jason that card.’

Steph paused, dumbstruck, her expression drooping-

‘If you give me your light blue I’ll do your homework for _two_ weeks,’ Jason tempted, ‘I’ll even make my handwriting look like yours. Plus, I’ll make anyone that bullies you wet _themselves_.’

Her expression brightened at that and she handed over the card happily. 

‘I hope you enjoy _1984_ ,’ she teased before sticking her tongue out at an infuriated Tim. Jason groaned but put the card neatly with the rest of his set and finished his turn.

For once, Steph’s turn went by without a hitch and Tim actually managed to roll a double to get out of jail. Then, he rolled another one. 

‘One more and you’re back in jail, Timmers,’ Jason smirked and Tim scowled but he bit his lip nervously before rolling-

A three and a four. He sighed in relief and Jason groaned as if the biggest joke of the year had just been ruined. 

Tim moved his piece and-

‘Ah, I knew Grayson’s properties would serve a purpose,’ Damian proclaimed, ‘That will be six hundred dollars, Drake.’

‘Of course, someone lands on it now that it belongs to you,’ Dick grumbled, ‘C’mon Timmy, pay your little brother.’

Tim glowered at Damian but handed over the money stiffly. Cass brought a house on her turn and Damian smiled slyly at Tim as he used his six hundred dollars to replace his houses with hotels (Tim’s ears had gone so red that it was a surprise they weren’t producing steam). Jason landed on yellow but paid Cass easily, if somewhat smugly. 

Steph had hardly opened her mouth when Tim interrupted, his voice desperate, 

‘Whatever she offers you, I will give you double.’

‘Jason, if you give me your orange property I will give you _all_ of my share of Alfred’s chocolate chip cookies.’

‘Tempting,’ Jason mused and raised an eyebrow at Tim. 

‘I’ll make you coffee every morning you’re at the manor,’ Tim offered.

‘I don’t like coffee,’ Jason’s hand holding the card twitched towards Steph, ‘plus, I’m hardly here.’

‘Tea-’ Tim continued urgently, ‘Tea - hot chocolate. Whatever you want.’

‘I’ll never ask you to proofread any of my long essays again,’ Steph insisted. 

‘That’s not fair!’ Tim exclaimed, jumping to his feet angrily, ‘I never ask you to proofread my essays anyway.’

Jason just shrugged, amused, ‘that doesn’t sound like my problem, Timbo.’

‘I- Fine. I’ll hack _one_ thing for you. No questions asked.’

‘Hey-’ Steph protested, springing to her feet, ‘I’ll- I’ll-’ she faltered, ‘I’ll write my end of year essay on Red Hood and why he’s the best vigilante in Gotham.’

‘I’ll change the wallpaper on the Batcomputer to whatever you want.’

‘I’ll assist you on patrol, anything you need. I don’t care about the law.’

‘I’ll buff the scratches out of your motorbike _and_ paint over it for you.’

‘I’ll give you my first edition copy of _Jane Eyre_!’ she roared and there was a shocked gasp.

‘Yeah, well, I’ll- I-’ Tim spluttered hotly, _‘I’ll kill the Joker.’_

The room fell silent and Tim swallowed. Steph panted, trying to catch her breath and there was a hushed whisper of something that sounded like ‘too far’. Tim’s shoulders were drawn up to his ears and Steph’s lip trembled in frustration. 

Everyone turned to look at Jason.

‘You know what,’ he drawled into the tense silence, flipping the card between his fingers, ‘I think I’ll keep it.’

The room erupted into chaos.

* * *

Bruce was soaked when he finally arrived home that evening. He stamped his boots on the mat and peeled away his coat, relishing in the warmth of the Manor. The hallway was dark but he could hear voices in the other room and - his blood ran cold - _was someone screaming?_ He narrowed his eyes and shifted into the shadows, sidling slowly towards the room. 

A tumbling sound. A choked groan. 

‘What the _hell_ is wrong with you?’ That was Jason’s voice.

‘I can’t believe you did that-’ Stephanie.

‘Stop wriggling, Dami. I’m not letting you go.’ Dick and… Damian? Bruce’s eyebrows pinched together.

‘Cass, could you _please_ tell me what you gave to him.’ Tim and Cass. 

‘Master Bruce-’ Bruce gasped and spun around to face Alfred, his expression the picture of confusion. Bruce’s eyes fell to the first aid kit clutched between the man’s fingers and, slowly, recognition dawned on his face. 

He grimaced. 

‘Monopoly, again?’

‘What else, Master Bruce?’ Alfred’s eyes twinkled. 

‘Who’s injured?’ Bruce sighed.

‘It seems Master Timothy got rather frustrated and well, threw the board at Master Jason.’

‘Tim?’ Bruce’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. He took a step closer to the door and the voices got clearer.

‘How the _fuck_ does everyone say that _I’m_ the one with anger issues when that kid is three-foot of pure rage!’

There was a screech and then-

‘I am almost six-foot!’

‘If you are going to lie, Drake. At least make it convincing.’

‘It seems they found the board in the garden shed, beneath the tools, plant pots and bags of topsoil,’ Alfred offered.

Bruce hummed, ‘we’ll have to hide it better next time.’

‘Indeed, Master Bruce.’

**Author's Note:**

> The next time there’s a storm they find Monopoly in one of the guest rooms, it’s taped shut and buried beneath a thousand pillows.
> 
> The time after that they can’t find Monopoly so they play Twister instead. 
> 
> Bruce comes home to several injured children, a tense Alfred and a triumphant looking Dick.


End file.
